


i'll always remain by your side. remember that.

by infizero



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: (for the 1950s when shadow was made), Coming Out, Found Family, Gen, Getting Outed, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Period-Typical Homophobia, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Suicidal Thoughts, Texting, by gays for gays, please don't read this if you ship them. this is not for you, rouge didn't realize what she was getting into when she took shadow's phone, rouge is bi, shadow is implied to have suicidal tendencies, shadow is physically and mentally 15!! please remember that!!!, she's also shadow's big sister!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 01:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21291599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infizero/pseuds/infizero
Summary: rouge finds out about shadow's darkest secret
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), sonic/shadow is mentioned but it is not the focus
Comments: 9
Kudos: 109





	i'll always remain by your side. remember that.

**Author's Note:**

> Some minor before-you-read warnings:
> 
> There is a moment where Rouge implies she thought Shadow was doing something dirty on his phone. This moment is extremely brief and only implied, but if this makes you uncomfortable you may not want to read.
> 
> There is a moment where it is implied that in the past Shadow was abused for acting/being gay. It is brief and not discussed in detail, but again if that may make you uncomfortable you may not want to read.
> 
> There are also multiple references to/mentions/implications of Shadow having suicidal thoughts and/or tendencies. It is not discussed in detail, but again, if that may make you uncomfortable I would suggest not reading. Also note that this is written from Shadow's POV, and as such there is some reluctance to getting help and other unhealthy mindsets. Please remember that getting help is one of the strongest things that you can do, and that you are never alone.
> 
> With all that in mind, I hope you enjoy the story!

"Shadoooowwww~!"

Shadow froze as he recognized the voice coming from the hallway. He quickly stuffed the phone underneath the covers of his bed and shifted to a laid-back pose, as if he had just been relaxing, before Rouge burst into the room, looking annoyed.

"Why are you holing yourself up in here again? I haven't seen you all day." she scolded. "It's our day off! You should be outside, doing things, having fun! Not-"

She examined his position with a frown. "What exactly were you doing?"

"Just… sleeping. That's all." Shadow said with the straightest face he could manage. He gave her a glare to further cement the "fact" that there was no reason for her to be here, and that she should leave him alone as soon as possible.

Rouge's face turned to a very mom-like one. "You weren't on your phone again were you?"

Shadow went a bit green. "N-no!" Damn it, why he did he stutter? There goes any sense of truth from his statement!

The older bat sighed. "I knew getting you that thing was a bad idea… what were you doing on it?"

"I... it's none of your business!" Shadow stammered, turning an even deeper shade of green.

"Actually it  _ is _ my business!" Rouge said, removing the blanket from the bed with one fell swoosh to reveal the guilty device in question. "As your legal guardian, I should be in the know as to what you're up to."

"I'm technically 50." Shadow pointed out as he made an attempt to snatch the phone away. "You don't have any right to be my caretaker!"

"Being asleep for 50 years doesn't make you any less 15 sweetheart, now give it here!" Rouge demanded, extending her hand.

When he didn't comply, she grabbed it away from him. Shadow felt the panic rise up in his throat and choke him as she put in the password that she somehow knew (knowing her business as a spy, she probably watched his fingers and figured it out just from that). No no, she really couldn't-

"Please!" he yelled, with a little more desperation than he would have liked. "Please Rouge don't, I'll do anything, just don't look-"

Rouge looked at him with a wild concern in her eyes. "Shadow, what has gotten into you!? I don't really care if you were looking at something inappropriate, that's- that's normal for someone your age, I just want to know, okay? It's alright, you're not in trouble."

"No, you don't understand, you can't-" Shadow pleaded, attempted to snatch the phone away from her, but it was too late.

The text messages loaded up onto the screen, on full display for her to see. Shadow's heart hammered away in his chest as he watched her eyes scan the words he never wanted anyone else to read. Rouge was silent as she scrolled through. It made him sick.

He curled up into a ball on the bed as the blood pumped in his ears. It felt like an eon had passed before she finally spoke. He waited for the angry outburst, the hushed words, the violent reinforcements of "you can't say that", "you can't be like that", "you're not-"

But it never came.

Instead he heard Rouge say puzzledly, "You were texting Sonic?"

Shadow's head popped up from inside the ball, looking up at her timidly. He didn't say anything, just looked at her in tentative confusion.

"I thought you were… why were you trying to hide this?" Rouge asked.

Shadow's eyes widened. "What do you mean, 'why'!? I-I never wanted anyone else to find out about this, I'm sorry that I… I-I'll stop, I'll stop thinking about it, I'm sorry-"

"Hey, hey hey hey!" Rouge exclaimed, putting her hands on his shoulders. "It's okay hon! I'm okay with it. Can you tell me why you're… not okay with it?"

"I… I don't understand. I… I'm…" Shadow hesitated, before changing his words, "-different. I'm not supposed to be like this. It's wrong. I'm wrong. I'm the Ultimate Lifeform, I'm supposed to be perfect, and yet I'm wrong, I'm disgusting, I-I'm shameful!"

He buried his face in his hands. "I didn't deserve to be saved. I should've just fallen. I should have just stayed dead."

"HEY!"

Shadow looked up in shock at the loud exclamation. Rouge had a fierce look on her face.

"Please don't say that Shadow. You deserved to be saved more than anyone else. You're so passionate, and kind, and heroic…"

She pulled him into a hug.

"If you… if you were gone, I don't know what I'd do." her grip tightened. "Don't  _ ever _ give up Shadow. Don't ever give up on yourself."

Shadow stilled in her embrace, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Her presence almost felt like…  _ her _ .

"Why do you think you're… gross?" Rouge asked gently, moving back out of the hug.

"I… is it not obvious? I… I'm..." Shadow felt tears well up in the corner of his eyes as he finally let himself admit it. "I'm gay."

"What about being gay makes you think you're gross? You know-" Rouge suddenly stopped. "Oh my gods. You were made in the fifties. I'm so sorry Shadow, I forgot, I didn't realize…"

Shadow looked at her in confusion, wiping away the wetness in his eyes that was threatening to spill over.

Rouge took his hands in her own. "Shadow, I know it may seem crazy to you, but here in the present, it's okay. You don't have to hide. Nothing's going to happen to you because you're gay. I promise."

Shadow gazed into her eyes in complete bewilderment. "You… you mean it?"

Rouge nodded to confirm her statement. "I'm actually bi myself. I promise you honey, you're gonna be fine. A lot of things have changed since your time."

Shadow felt a strange, foreign happiness bubble up in his chest as her words sunk in. He didn't have to hide. He didn't have to pretend. No more apologies, no more secrecy, no more fear. He couldn't believe it.

He let out a happy cry as he hugged her again, giggling and sobbing at the same time. Rouge stiffened at the crying, but seemed to recognize quickly that it wasn't from sorrow.

"So you and Sonic are…?" she prompted as he pulled back, holding up his phone.

"We're… we're figuring things out. For now, at least." Shadow blushed green a bit, a fond, uncontrollable smile taking over his face. "I… I never realized how much I've wanted to talk about this stuff."

Rouge chuckled softly. "You two seem to really like each other, despite your silly bickering. I'm sure it'll work out."

She rose up from the bed and walked slowly back to the door. "I'll let you get back to him. I'm sure Blue is waiting impatient as always."

She lingered in the door frame for a moment before turning around to face him one last time. "And Shadow…"

He glanced up to look at her. "Yes?"

"I care about you. You know that right?"

Shadow nodded.

"What you said back there… it really scared me. I know you might not want me to, but I'm gonna get you help. Alright? I'm gonna get you someone to talk to."

Shadow stiffened, looking away. He wished he hadn't been so transparent about those… particular feelings. He didn't want to burden anyone else with his problems.

"We'll get through this. Together, alright? I'll be with you the whole way." Rouge gave him a weak smile. "Things will get better."

He nodded lightly to acknowledge her words. He felt conflicted. He didn't want her to know about his more… darker thoughts, and yet there was a part of him that felt incredibly relieved that she had noticed, that she cared enough to help him. 

Rouge paused one more time on the way out.

"I love you."

Shadow's ears perked up at the statement. He looked up at the older bat, at the girl who was really only a teen herself, who had practically raised him ever since she had first woken him up out of that pod, who had done so much for him and expected nothing in return, who had supported him no matter what, and felt his face curve up into a small smile.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I often think about how Shadow was created in the 50's and the impact that made on him, particularly in regards to his sexuality. This started out as a lighthearted drabble about Rouge teasing Shadow about his crush on Sonic, but as I realized what sort of mindset Shadow might have when it came to hiding these feelings because of the environment he was raised in, and how that might have affected him, it took a more serious turn. I tried to keep it somewhat uplifting at the end.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, please comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts and criticisms. Kudos are also appreciated as well of course, but commenting lets me know more directly what you liked, so I would be very grateful. Thank you again for reading and have a nice day!


End file.
